Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail, and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places. Habbakuk 3:17-19.
If you are lonely, and you don’t know where Jesus is, he is sovereign. I have wrestled with this so much, so deeply and so truly. I just want to let you know that he loves you. I am growing to feel this deeply. I trust that all things work together for the good of those who love God. I just gave up trusting in myself (and my own reasoning) after I realized I had been living with despair for the last 6-12 months. I have realized that there is no joy in doubting God or trusting in your own reason.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2,3
The more that I realize I am unhappy with being where I am at in life the more I realize I have to trust God on everything. The longer that I have had to wait to find the love of my life the more I realize that God is sovereign. Every inch of the way he knows where I am going and when things suck, I realize that I am being pushed to being more like Jesus and trusting him. I find that the more uncomfortable I am the more I learn and the more I become a man of peace. The less that I can trust in my own self the more I exhibit the fruit of the Spirit.
So I have started with hope again, this began at the point of exhaustion and it will continue as long as God lets me be exhausted. I have hope that no matter what difficulty or hurt is in my life that God is using it to bring about greater joy in my heart and greater dependency on Him. There will be pain in life, and it will always be used to draw us back. There may be seasons of confusion, and God understands it. I may even have a time of hardening or where I do not pray, but God knows that he is using this for the good of those who love Him. If you give up hope in this you give up on everything. And today, I started to see that the more I am the man I am to be in Christ, the less I find myself worrying. The more time I spend on this earth, the more I find it was God who was to be trusted all along.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
May we all learn to pray deeply and continuously!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4: 6,7
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