So lately I’ve been reading this book called “Blue Like Jazz”, and I was very skeptical at first. I’ve heard the author Donald Miller was emergent, which can be a bad thing so I came into the reading fairly cautious. For anyone looking for a read that helps you tie together life experiences to how God is I would highly recommend it. But I’m about half way through the book now and I must say, it will challenge you. Not in a “you’re a sinner” sense, but maybe you can see through an experience I found quite profound.
Yesterday, I decided to talk a break to have a conversation with God, which I have lately realized is actually the most important part in our relationship. I went down to Scottsdale to see my grandmother and let her give me ice cream. For some reason she wasn’t answering the door so I thought she was out with my grandpa. I decided I’d come back later when I thought they’d be home. So I took a couple of hours to just walk down at Scottsdale and just simply converse with God.
There is a specific chapter in Blue Like Jazz that talks specifically about how he used to be such a cheesy Christian, kissing babies and saying “God bless you” when in reality he didn’t even understand what “God bless you” really meant. I thought to myself, “You know, I really don’t know either, hmmm.” Which is funny, a lot of times we really say these empty Christian clichés because they sound really good, and we hear religious leaders say them.
So as I’m walking around this mall just conversing with God, it was like I was totally gone. Just so off in my own world talking to God, which is great because I that is something I have been terrible at. By no means am I trying to be “look at me and how Godly I am” Christian by telling this, it’s just been on my heart to blog about it. But as I was walking I just kept running into this kid. After about the fifth time seeing him I just felt God tugging at my heart “Talk to him.” So I did exactly the opposite and just kept walking. After 10 seconds had gone by of me rejecting the idea I noticed he was looking in the trash cans for stuff, and he really looked poorly clothed. He may not have been homeless but I know God wanted me to talk to him. SOOO… after much denial I tapped him on the shoulder at his next stop and asked:
Me: “Hey man, how you doin’?”
Kid: “Ah good man.”
Me: “Cool, cool man. I was just wondering if you needed anything, maybe get you lunch or something.”
Kid: “Ah I’m good man, don’t worry about it.”
Me: “You sure man, I was gonna get lunch and you know, just wanted to see if I could do something nice for someone.”
Kid: “Well I am getting pretty hungry… but I really don’t want anything.”
Me: “You sure man?”
Kid: “Yeah, thanks though. How are you doing?”
Me: “I’m doing good man just kinda hanging out, seeing if I could do something nice for someone.”
Kid: “That’s cool man. Well… bless you.”
Me: “Yeah man, God bless you.”
As the words, as they were slipping off of my tongue… I was like “Agghhh!”
I was walking away and I realized what I did. I used a really hollow phrase that I thought sounded religious. But did I really mean that? I know it really isn’t that big of a stretch to say something like that. But I look back, and that was being pretty fake. It wasn’t that that was how I felt about him and wanted him to be “blessed” by God, I wanted to sound godly. Which is not what it’s about. It’s not about being more Christian everyday. It’s about grower closer to Jesus and his likeness everyday. Praying, talking, sharing with God. But I thought that was funny how God used the chapter of the book I had read mere hours before and took it and brought me to a special encounter and I caught myself being shallow. So, I guess, if anyone reads this… just be challenged by it I guess. We need to work on being more Christ like in a Christian culture that really wants to act Christian instead of in the heart knowing Christ and letting that love show in how we treat people. Our hearts could be off and our actions look Godly, but we really aren’t.
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